Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight

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  (212): I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight http://tfl.nu/y0tm
  Replies (2) Good night (1219) Bad night (713)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab

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  (917): i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab http://tfl.nu/gssq
  Replies (8) Good night (3111) Bad night (879)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit

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  (314): i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit http://tfl.nu/hok4
  Replies (38) Good night (959) Bad night (8785)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful

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  (816): Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful http://tfl.nu/oafq
  Replies (19) Good night (7477) Bad night (1209)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.

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  (727): hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week. http://tfl.nu/6l6t
  Replies (15) Good night (1709) Bad night (3839)
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  (315): View more from New York

  JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...

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  (315): JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room... http://tfl.nu/oonq
  Replies (5) Good night (3833) Bad night (852)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...

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  (404): Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february... http://tfl.nu/39i3
  Replies (6) Good night (4532) Bad night (1019)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"

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  (419): You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?" http://tfl.nu/acel
  Replies (7) Good night (2824) Bad night (740)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.

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  (484): You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now. http://tfl.nu/l9he
  Replies (4) Good night (702) Bad night (1019)
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  (298): View more from

  The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.

  (208): View more from Idaho

  You're the only meteorologist I listen to.

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  (298): The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations. (208): You're the only meteorologist I listen to. http://tfl.nu/2k8s
  Replies (3) Good night (2106) Bad night (516)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.

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  (330): I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished. http://tfl.nu/wyym
  Replies (4) Good night (399) Bad night (610)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar

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  (615): we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar http://tfl.nu/4o2z
  Replies (1) Good night (495) Bad night (309)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW

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  (239): THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW http://tfl.nu/gnot
  Replies (0) Good night (545) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.

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  (610): call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door. http://tfl.nu/cqoi
  Replies (6) Good night (544) Bad night (775)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives

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  (407): I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives http://tfl.nu/ke2n
  Replies (2) Good night (373) Bad night (204)

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