he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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