ADVERTISEMENT

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap

  Fav 11 2699 1030

  share tweet
  

• (609): View more from New Jersey

  The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.

  Fav 6 2015 1368

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (917): View more from New York City

  I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay

  Fav 12 4410 1481

  share tweet
  

• (818): View more from California

  They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...

  Fav 15 2882 4645

  share tweet
  
• 

  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (205): View more from Alabama

  Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.

  Fav 4 3800 1409

  share tweet
  

• (917): View more from New York City

  No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.

  Fav 3 1820 996

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (928): View more from Arizona

  I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.

  Fav 19 2540 1011

  share tweet
  

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?

  Fav 5 1381 692

  share tweet
  

• (818): View more from California

  I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing

  Fav 6 1226 641

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (714): View more from California

  Not my type, but the penis looks fun.

  Fav 4 916 528

  share tweet
  

• (314): View more from Missouri

  mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...

  Fav 4 661 843

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (660): View more from Missouri

  He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.

  Fav 5 1047 621

  share tweet
  

• (757): View more from Virginia

  Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?

  Fav 0 360 184

  share tweet
  

• (417): View more from Missouri

  Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?

  Fav 3 369 259

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (703): View more from Virginia

  He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome

  Fav 0 39 32

  share tweet
  

Randomize