Texts From Last Night

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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram

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  (267): worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram http://tfl.nu/sbpo
  Replies (11) Good night (546) Bad night (2539)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  You make homosexuality sound like a cult.

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  (925): You make homosexuality sound like a cult. http://tfl.nu/swwi
  Replies (20) Good night (961) Bad night (2714)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets

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  (571): the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets http://tfl.nu/d1l9
  Replies (29) Good night (588) Bad night (5121)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.

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  (619): our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work. http://tfl.nu/tk9m
  Replies (5) Good night (3873) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"

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  (432): He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun" http://tfl.nu/hrdc
  Replies (28) Good night (2672) Bad night (4216)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.

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  (774): I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass. http://tfl.nu/6q4x
  Replies (27) Good night (11557) Bad night (1185)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.

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  (860): Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them. http://tfl.nu/f4br
  Replies (22) Good night (5622) Bad night (984)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.

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  (214): So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5. http://tfl.nu/y0zl
  Replies (9) Good night (5268) Bad night (801)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room

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  (503): We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room http://tfl.nu/9vw8
  Replies (4) Good night (2254) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room

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  (+61): can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room http://tfl.nu/484e
  Replies (10) Good night (2784) Bad night (853)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k

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  (908): HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k http://tfl.nu/jlb6
  Replies (10) Good night (1621) Bad night (996)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.

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  (770): Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this. http://tfl.nu/8f5s
  Replies (3) Good night (979) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere

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  (808): Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere http://tfl.nu/w66n
  Replies (1) Good night (960) Bad night (513)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?

  (319): View more from Iowa

  will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?

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  (612): So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me? (319): will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls? http://tfl.nu/9asz
  Replies (3) Good night (323) Bad night (870)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.

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  (707): He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro. http://tfl.nu/sp67
  Replies (3) Good night (688) Bad night (204)

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