I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
