Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I am midnight drunk by noon
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
