there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Even the bartender felt bad for me
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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