Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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