Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize