I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
