He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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