Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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