All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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