Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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