He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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