I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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