my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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