I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize
