He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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