We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
