I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I have aggressive nipples.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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