She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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