Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
