what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
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the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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