Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
