Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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