It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
