The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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