My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
