We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
