Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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