Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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