she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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