You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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