So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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