Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize