FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
