Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
