Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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