i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
