Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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