can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
