Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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