When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
