I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
