quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
