This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Green mimosas i think yes
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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