yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
