Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize