it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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