For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize