Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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