fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
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Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
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Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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