how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
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