I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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