Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
