good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
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if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
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So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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