i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
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He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
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Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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