you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
