I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
