if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
