So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
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