if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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