I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I AM VODKA MAN
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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