You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
