my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
