So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
