I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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